I want to be asleep.

I took my pills 2 hours ago. And I have to wake up in 5 hours. Why am I still awake? 

I really miss us having our own place and it's still weird that we're not in our own place anymore and that nearly everything we own is in a barn. We're not even saving any money. I don't get it. 

I have to figure out what I'm doing with my car. My insurance was due the 12th. I've been emailing someone at my insurance company about lowering my coverage since the car isn't being used. It also sucks not having my own car either.

Pity party for 1 here.

This has been a weird year. We couldn't find a new place. We moved in with his parents. He quit his job. My car broke. He hasn't found a new job yet. He even said he would go back to the old one but they never called back. He's now part time at his current job. 

On the plus side, I haven't called out of work this year at all. I've not had any medical problems. I've wanted to call off but I'm like must work all the days and all the hours and make all the money and not save any of the money. It really sucks. 

I want to sign up for a nail polish subscription and I can't even justify the cost because we're so poor right now and yet he spends all the money. Why can I not say eff it and do it? Why must I feel guilty for wanting to spend money on myself when he does it all the time? I don't want to buy cheap nail polish anymore. I want to splurge on the good stuff. 


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