Dentist.

I went to the dentist a few weeks ago. July 11th to be exact. So I don't have a cavity. But the dark spot is maybe a pre cavity? Or a spot where I lost a lot of minerals from the prescription and so I have to be careful and make sure it doesn't turn into a cavity because it can. The hygienist was rough with cleaning my teeth because supposedly they were bad. But she got all the plague and tarter build up so that's good. I have a prescription strength toothpaste that has more fluoride in it than non prescription toothpaste has, I think it's like 3 times the amount? I'm supposed to brush my teeth 3 times a day, twice with my regular toothpaste and then once with the prescription one. I'm supposed to only use it before bed and only a pea sized amount. I also ended up buying a rotadent toothbrush!! It was $100 but it's supposed to be the best electric toothbrush and I believe it. I had one when I had braces and used it for years. This one has a lifetime warranty on it so that's awesome. And it does a pretty awesome job it seems. You're not supposed to use toothPASTE with it, only gel toothpaste and the prescription one I have is a paste. The hygienist said it would be fine but I'm just using 2 toothbrushes with my 2 toothpastes. At this point, I figure it isn't a big deal. Lol. I have a dollar tree plastic tote that I have all my teeth stuff in and I just carry it into the bathroom when I brush my teeth. I have 2 toothbrushes, 2 toothpastes, a plastic container with dental picks, mouth wash and cups in there. I also have a cosmetic bag with picks, toothpaste, toothbrush and a small bottle of mouthwash in it that I bring with me wherever I go. I brush at work. If we're out, I might rinse in a bathroom somewhere. I don't brush 3 times a day all the time but I try to do something after I eat. I only eat about 2 times a day and I figure that's why I'm supposed to brush 3 times a day. 

I don't know if this will work but I am really hoping it does. She said that the prescription did this and that the toothpaste will remineralize my teeth so it seems like the medicine had zapped the minerals out of my teeth. 

As for the shifting thing, I have no idea if they shifted. She said they didn't have my old X-rays because they're digital now. I don't know why that's a problem! So what did they do with all the old files? Did they get rid of them? Is it a problem because they can't just hold the old ones up to the new ones and compare? I don't care. I feel like my teeth shifted enough that you could look at them side by side and see a difference. But what do I know.... 

They also were being difficult about my insurance. I don't want to say stupid... They said they didn't know what my insurance would cover or when my last X-rays were (I told you five times May of 2013) and they didn't know how many times my insurance will cover X-rays. It's definitely once a year and it's been over 12 months since my last ones so you're fine. They didn't do a complete set of X-rays, they only did a partial set. Just in case I would have to end up paying for it. Well my insurance did end up covering it. I got a detail letter saying what they paid for and so now when I go back to my 6 month appointment, they're going to say well we did partial X-rays 6 months ago so we still can't do a complete set. But I think my insurance covers X-rays twice a year. 

I didn't have much anxiety that day. 

Phone calls and a cavity.

I've made 2 phone calls in the past week! I had to call my doctor to find out when my next appointment was and then I called back a few days later to reschedule my appointment. So now I have 2 appointments on the same day in August. Sigh. I need to also make an appointment with a dentist. I guess I'll go to the same dentist I went to in 2012(?) in Fort Myers. I was on a new medicine and it messed with my gums really bad. I stopped taking the medicine in June and my gums are slowly going back to normal. But I think my teeth shifted during all that and now I think I have a cavity. Which would be my first one in 20 years or more. The only cavity I've ever had was in a baby tooth and they didn't do anything. It was loose already and I think they went ahead and pulled it while I was at the orthodontist or maybe they just let it fall out on its own. I kept the tooth and didn't put it under my pillow. It's in a jewelry box somewhere. Lol. I had 2 teeth pulled when I was about 13 to make more room in my mouth for my teeth. I don't have enough room in my gums for all my teeth so they're completely overcrowded. And with the ehlers danlos syndrome, my teeth shift all the time anyways. So when the medicine really messed them up, my teeth just get pushed out of place. I was supposed to have 4 teeth pulled when I was 13 but it really freaked me out that they wanted to pull perfectly healthy teeth so I only let them do 2. I should have listened to them and had them do all 4. I don't know now if I made the right choice because my teeth are still messed up after having braces for 8 years. Part of that though is I had to stop wearing my retainers after a few months. Or a few weeks, don't really remember. But they stopped fitting me and my parents didn't take me back to have them redone. Plus my wisdom teeth are impacted. They don't bother me though and my mom's dentist said that if they don't hurt me then don't have them pulled. Let them stay where they are. I am so terrified of the dentist. I didn't go from the age of 16 to 29 or 30. I guess I was 29 and it was in 2011 that I went. It was!! I thought I first got my insurance in 2012 but it was in 2011. I went twice in 2011, once in 2012 and once in 2013. I was supposed to go in November 2013 but because of what happened to me in November I never went and never rescheduled. As long as there's no problems, I don't mind the cleanings. But I'm afraid that they'll find something and I'll need a filling or something else. And I'm terrified of needles in my mouth. If I have a cavity now, I'm going to need to be put under. I'll also see if I should have any teeth pulled (like the 2 that should have been done when I was 13) and just have it done at once. I want to get braces again and I'm sure the orthodontist will tell me to get the teeth pulled first. Maybe even have my wisdom teeth taken out. Aaaaaahhhh. It's all so scary. I need to go to sleep.

My Sunday schedule has changed a little bit. I work 5-1230. And on 6.8 after work I went to Dollar Tree then tried to go Hobby Lobby but they're closed so that was a bit disappointing. Okay so a lot disappointing. I went to AC Moore after that and walked around in there for a while. I did all of this ALL BY MYSELF. Insane. Crazy. What will I do next week?

I'm so friggin behind!!!

I am sorry to my readers. Reader? I am sorry. Today is... Thursday? So I can post about anxiety stuff. I've done quite a few things in the last few weeks I don't think I've posted about that I did despite my anxiety. 

I had to call Dodge and tell them my car was going to be towed there on Friday. On Friday (I don't remember which Friday but I think it's been 3 weeks?) I called AAA and had my car towed to Dodge. Dealt with that. Saturday, same thing. I made another phone call to AAA and they picked the car up. I talked to Dodge again on the phone Friday evening and Saturday morning. So lots of phone calls in that 2 day period that would cause anxiety for me normally. And it did a little bit. But I pushed through and got through it. This was at the end of my vacation, so it was May 9th and May 10th? I still don't know what exactly is wrong with my car though. It could be the rod bearings or the engine needs to be replaced but they wouldn't know exactly unless they dropped the engine. It would be $300-$400 for them to do that just to try to figure out what was wrong with my car. I declined. Now I'm going to try to sell my car my car as is. I need to clean the car out and take some pictures of it. Of the milage, the engine (?), the inside and the outside I suppose. 

Here's some pictures of my car being towed. 

I've called several doctor's offices in the last few weeks. I called and scheduled my yearly female exam and did that. That is one huge panic attack right there!!! I got my results back, everything is fine. I called the neurologist's office. I've never explained here why I have one of those. Maybe I should. Sigh. I called my primary care doctor's office to have them change one of my prescriptions because of an interaction with one of my other medications. 

I've made other phone calls too in the last few weeks. I hate making phone calls. They used to cause so much anxiety and I wouldn't make them. I used to have my mom make as many phone calls for me as she could. I still do if she can. Even my dad makes phone calls for me when it's possible. Like for car stuff when I'm in town. 

My goal this year is to fix what I need to fix to get back into school. That's going to require me to make some phone calls and to do some work. 

Anxiety bytes.

I called Dodge on Monday. I have an "appointment" on Saturday between 8 and 10 for my car to be looked at and hopefully diagnosed. Then today I drove to work but I wasn't working and I never drive places like that. I drive to work when I'm working so driving there when I'm not working isn't that big of a deal but is still something I don't do. I also called the hospital with a question about my bill. So I did a few things this week that cause me anxiety. Phew! 

Anxiety.

I hate anxiety. It is taking over my life again. I have to make some phone calls and I don't want to do it. I need to call about my car. I need to call about the 2nd job. I need to call and ask some questions about my current job. I need to call some of my doctors and set up appointments. But I am just sitting here and not doing that. I want to go to the beach but I don't want to get in the car and drive by myself. I hate hate hate anxiety. And it's even worse when I'm depressed and I'm depressed about my car. If I'm in a happier mood then the anxiety isn't as bad. 2006-2008 was a pretty good time in my life. I did a lot of stuff on my own and without a lot of anxiety. I had natural anti anxiety pills, I should try to find them again and order them and see if they work for me again. I need them! If I lose my car, I'm afraid that I'll go back to not driving eventually and that driving for work will stop and I'll just not drive anymore and driving will once again cause anxiety. Right now driving when I have a routine, going to and from work is okay, when I have a plan is okay. But I can't just hop in the car and decide to go shopping or go to the beach, it freaks me out.