Wish lists.

People are asking what do I want for Christmas. So I've cleaned up stuff on my Pinterest account and I'll be adding stuff to it that I want. I just added a ton of books to my Amazon list and I sent it to J's mom. I'm giving everyone many options that vary in type and price. 

I'm sleepy. I have to wake up at 6am and I took my pill at 10pm and I've just been fighting it the past 3 hours. Time to pee and then I'll go to sleep. I'm done working on stuff tonight. 

What do you want for Christmas?

It's been rough.

I haven't been in the mood to post for a while now and all these things have been happening in our life the past few months (I posted about our car accident in September) and then October 21st happened and I really haven't wanted to post anything. I don't want to go into details but our dog Kreasy passed away that day. It was completely unexpected and our hearts were broken. I have struggled with my emotions a lot since then and I haven't even been able to cry that much because after my wisdom teeth surgery it was physically hard to cry. It was painful at first and then it was strange because I still don't have full feeling in my lower jaw yet and I didn't realize that that would effect my crying. I don't know how to explain it. I guess it's helped me in a way? I haven't been in the mood to paint my nails either. I was already not painting them as much since September then that happened but I also wasn't allowed to have painted nails for the surgery and that was on October 26th. I had the surgery and for a few days after that I wasn't in any shape to care about painting my nails. Once I was "okay", I was STILL not in the mood. I think I have painted them twice since October 21st? Maybe 3 times, not sure. 

So I had my surgery. I had all four wisdom teeth taken out. I'm still not back to 100%, it sucks. I'm still slightly numb in my bottom jaw. I'm still swollen and the top left tooth broke I guess when he removed it and about a week after the surgery a piece of that tooth appeared and was stabbing me everywhere. I called to ask about that and if I should be concerned about the numbness, they scheduled me for the 17th to come in and remove that piece at no charge. They said if it started hurting really bad to call in the morning and they'd see me as an amergency case later in the day. I called on day 10 and the 17th was 22 days after. The piece of tooth broke at some point and I pulled part of it out of my mouth but I could still feel something up there but it wasn't sticking out as much and it kept moving around and stabbing me in different places. But by the time my appointment rolled around, it was gone. The doctor said that it must have fallen out and that he didn't want to go digging around for it and cause me unnecessary pain since he couldn't see it. If it appears again or another piece appears, he'll remove it. I have another appointment on Tuesday the first to check on everything. He already checked to see if I have nerve damage and I don't so that's great. It means the numbness will go away. He said once the swelling is gone. Tonight after work, I realized that it's possible that I have feeling back on the right side but it's hard to tell where it starts and ends. It's definitely different than how it all felt yesterday but the left side feels the same. It's really difficult still to eat most everything. Food gets stuck in the incisions and I have to squirt it out with this syringe thing I have. I fill it with water and then I stick it behind the tooth and squirt. It's kind of gross when I spit the water out and food particles appear. It means I'm doing it right. Soooo when food particles DON'T appear, I worry because then I think I have food still stuck in there!! Which is bad because it can cause an infection. Sigh. Having HEALTHY teeth pulled just sucks! I had to get two pulled when I was about 13 and it was the worst thing ever and I said I wouldn't do it again and I went 20 years without doing it but OF COURSE the day would come that I have to again have healthy teeth pulled!!!! I'm just really glad I had to get knocked out and didn't have to feel anything. I can 100% handle getting an IV stuck in me but do noooooooot stick a needle into my gums. 

So yeah. Painting my nails was a way for me to deal with my depression and helped distract me from the bad emotions so it bothers me that something I used to enjoy and was an outlet hasn't been able to help me. I painted my nails last night but I don't like how they look so I want to redo them. I take that as a good sign. I also have placed two orders today with the two indie companies I shop from and so I'm excited now to see my new goodies. One of the colors I bought was one that I had wanted in early October. I mentioned it in my October 9th post about Pahlish polish. It's called Ace of Fours II and when I saw it was available tonight I was happy and excited and I put it in my cart and bought some other ones too. 

Hopefully I'll start posting again. I'll work on some future posts this weekend. And of course when I get my orders, I'll post them. I've taken so many pictures of things I want to post about so I have the photos to go with the posts! I need to at least post photos of my October, Halloween and November mystery bags this weekend. 

Well I wanted to keep rambling about things but uuuuhhh I have to pee, lol, so I'll go and pee and end this post soon.

I hope everyone had a great and tasty thanksgiving day. I had my favorite vegetables yesterday and while I love turkey normally, it was hard for me to enjoy it yesterday because of my annoying numbness. It was getting difficult to chew and so I just gave up. This happens a lot and I hate it! I started with the corn and it was difficult too but easier to do than the turkey. The green beans and mashed potatoes were great though because there wasn't much chewing involved, lol. When we go out to eat, I try to always get mozzarella sticks and while I look goofy as hell trying to consume them, they've been the easier food choice at most places. 

Alright I have to pee!!! Good night.